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Comment by Johnny Allison on March 18, 2013 at 1:42pm

I suppose I, like most people, have something to say about their past. However I am fully aware that in truth I have no personal history. There was something strange going on as far back as I can remember. Which is pretty far. I was adopted at two months but I distinctly remember two separate environments. In the first there was a mobile above my baby bed that clearly had a space motif. Like rocket ship and planets, etc. Later this disappeared and was exchanged with a different one. I think it had something to do with water. In either event this had to have happened somewhere around my second month. I also remember having recurring dreams at this time also. I believe they were memories of my birth. I felt myself floating in a pool of red water and could remember conversations in the back ground and what seemed to be a scuffle. I also remember when I first said mama and papa. Their was a strong gust of what now I would describe as wind but is was more like everything was crying out at the same time. When it washed over me I said baba or something like. My Mother was washing dishes in the sink with her apron on and when she heard me rushed up to me and started repeating 'papa' 'papa' and 'mama' 'mama'. I guess that's when the domestication started. Since studying yoga for a few years now I know that the sound that I heard was the sound of the sacred sylable, OM. I used to think of these things as happening to me personally. But now I just look at these things as events or processes.

Comment by darryl archibald on February 21, 2013 at 8:14am

Last nite went to a meeting and the topic was laughter, authenic laughter as opposed to laughing to hide my shame or fear. Left the meeting grateful for the intimacy and vunerability of the people there sharing their experiances. Today I will notice if I am laughing from a place of fear or joy.

Comment by darryl archibald on January 24, 2013 at 8:55am

I listened to don miguel talk about the difference between love and pity. Makes me realize how much I pity others instead of love them. I welcome the lesson I learned and now its time to put it into practice. Another piece to paradise.

Comment by darryl archibald on January 15, 2013 at 6:58am

FOr many years I believed that without other people's love and admiration I was nothing. That I needed to compete and win to be someone. To view the world as a hostile place. Today I am trying to create peace and acceptance from within, realizing that I live in heaven on earth and to be grateful for that.

Comment by darryl archibald on January 14, 2013 at 1:44pm

My journey back to reality started in Nov 1999 in a therapists office, where I was asked if I would atend a group for men that are violent to their partners I agreed to go. It was the best decision I ever made, I've spent the last 13 years working a program that helped me recognize and be responsible for my controlling and manipulative behaviours. Helped me stop my physical and verbal violence, lowered my emotional violence. Started attending A.A. meetings for my alcohol and drug addiction, still going. Started reading eckart tolle, don Miguel Ruiz and others with the same message. End my first marriage in1999 got married again in 2006 and ended it 2 months ago. Found it too difficult to love myself whenIn relationship. Made the decision to join this program to get back on track and I'm excited about what I'm seeing and learning here.

Comment by darryl archibald on January 13, 2013 at 5:45am

When I talk about self love I notice alot of resistance from people around me and I get scared and confused, doubt myself. I hear people talk about happiness and how if they just do the right things it is going to come to them. I know that for me happiness exsists in me and I just need to attach to it. I am excited about being on line with a group of people who are seeing the illusion that I was trained to see and believe in, the one that drives people crazy. I want to hear other peoples stories, how they lived, how they felt and how they came to love them selves. Okay maybe I won't tell the long version of my story.

Comment by darryl archibald on January 12, 2013 at 6:16am

This story may take a while for me to tell. Two reasons; first I am a two finger keyboard man; second I like telling the long version. Grew up in a rural setting on a farm. Learned that life was about working hard, competing, judging, fighting, stealing, denial, blame, drinking, hatred and giving away my power. I lived 75% of my life in this fashion until I was to the point that I was homicidial and suicidal. It was at that point I reached out for help.So the last 25% of my life has been focused on defeating the voices in my head that would shame me, judge me, and compare me.I live in a small comunity were this is a way of life. My old way of dealing with the voices was numbing out with drugs, alcohol, work and violence. Today I use self love. More tomrrow...